Farewell

I'm somewhere new. I've begun again with far broader goals in a far narrower format. Come check me out at A Lettered Legacy.

Not a Picture

I usually post pictures on Friday, but I haven't gotten to the downloading of the pictures off the camera yet. And there is a more important, to me anyway post being written today.

With the new puppy, I am getting a glimpse of us in 10 weeks--Abigail, Chris, myself. Since the puppy is the baby, I'm not sure what he'll be like. Just praying for housetraining to be complete. It hasn't been a good week.

Anger.
Frustration.
Impatience.
Ugliness.

I wondered often if the Spirit lived here.

My heart turning in on itself desperate for relief from the constant barrage of slings and arrows.

I opened the living room curtains on birds feeding. The scattered with the movement. All but one little sparrow.

The Lord reminded,

You worry too much. I take care of the sparrows. How much more will I care for your loved ones? How much more will I care for you?

And I smiled at the one unmoved sparrow.

Later, dog chewing everything, me reminding him of toy. Abigail finding fun in her playroom. I reading Ann Voskamp. In tears,

I can't do this. Mother two. Look like Christ. Filled with love and peace and patience and kindness.
I can. I want you to do this.
I feel so alone!
You're not. I am with you.
Everything is so wrong.
No, I am with you.

My sister called. While talking with her I realized the tears did what no shower or yelling or exercise could do. The tears opened my heart.

I will be interrupted today. More times than I can count. Everything will take longer than I expect. But I am not alone and that makes all the difference.

Gifts

I am a pretty optimistic person, most of the time. Most of the time except January, and December. Those months take a toll on my optimism, really by the time January ends I am pretty battered and we have bought bedroom cabinetry, all sorts of next year's clothes, a laptop, a new desktop (though that was more Chris than me), and a dog with all its paraphernalia.

So we start February talking about how to replenish our savings. I think it has something to do with the dark. When I start fixing breakfast in the haze and gray of January winter mornings just waking and when we eat dinner in the light of the moon, being required to turn the headlights on on the way to dinner if we eat out (we do a lot of that too in January), my spirits can't help but wane.

Hopefully next year I will remember this and perhaps start looking for the gifts without qualification earlier.

Gifts I've found without over-thinking them.

1. The dog pooped outside--the entire pile of stuff outside. No clean-up inside.
2. Everyone but me is asleep but not for long, because I am going to sleep.
3. When I got up last night to take George outside, there was a fresh blanket of snow on the ground.
4. I'm the mommy and as such no one can fix aching ears by cuddling but me.
5. The pharmacy employees at Target are the best. I love them.
6. Amber at A Classic Housewife in a Modern World reminds me that knowing why I ask Abigail to do something is as important as getting her compliance.
7. Rachel Anne at Home Sanctuary and her simple things especially giving me the freedom to say that I am a pregnant mother of a preschooler and a recently purchased puppy and even if the dishes are still on the counter while the dishwasher sits empty, I choose to take puppy and preschooler outside to play.
8. McDonald's Play Place with a good friend.
9. A vacuum cleaner serving as an art piece, still-life, in the living room. We have a closet for it; we have a new puppy and a preschooler. Putting it away doesn't make sense, unless you are coming over.
10. Working on this post before I wanted to post it.
11. A husband who allows me to be human when I want to beat myself up for imperfection.
12. Reading the Psalms aloud with a little girl listening because she wants to hear mommy read from her Bible.
13. Listening to a little girl "read" the Bible. Everything is all confused but she loves the Word.
    

There is something about viewing the little things, the mundane, as treasures that gives the routine and plans of the day their joy. It gives life rhythm. That is the blessing of gratitude.

Digital Photos

I've been staring at a blank screen all day wondering what to write today. Then a friend who I haven't seen for years commented that there are no pictures on my facebook page. I don't do pictures well anymore. The uploading, the uploading, the ordering, the possibility for editing.

I have a very nice camera that I received as a gift in college, a camera I searched for and researched. A camera that uses film and gives me little editing power. Of course, I can't upload those pictures to any number of websites.

But I get hung up on the editing. I have the power to edit so all of my pictures should look like they are professionally done. And they never get uploaded. Who has the joy that way?

And I am hit again by my pride, by my perfectionism, by the part of me that robs me and others of our joy. So when I get the dog in the crate, the paperwork complete, and the child to bed, I'll upload pictures with abandon. Just the way they are

For All That's Happened

In the last 36 hours, I'm having fun with Abigail and George. It took a girl reading a playing contentedly and dog finally pooping outside to do it. But maybe this day will turn around, or I will remember the gifts of the day.

Menu Plan

Trying something--I've done it before but never stuck with it.

Monday--Spaghetti and salad

Tuesday--Baked fish with veggies

Wednesday--Cheeseburger Soup--find a recipe or use the one from BHG

Thursday--Pork Roast with potatoes, carrots, onions

Friday--Leftovers

Saturday--Birthday dinner for Mom (eating out, yay)

Sunday--Superbowl (does anyone have plans?)

Menu Plan Monday is hosted by I'm an Organizing Junkie.

Manic Mondays

We don't always do so well on Mondays. It is the grit my teeth day that can easily spill into a grit my teeth week.

I blame it on my weekly schedule that puts grocery shopping on Monday after a weekend of later nights, and running around that leaves us all a little discombobulated.

Why did I ever schedule grocery shopping on a day I would much rather be home recovering from the weekend and getting our house in order?

Last week I switched the schedule with Tuesday. Staying home Monday, going out Tuesday. It did work better. So welcome housework Mondays.

Oh, wait, I have a doctor's appointment this morning! What would that make this Monday?

And I am far enough along that this signals the beginning of my two week appointments--29 weeks!

We got a dog this weekend. A black lab who we named George. Abigail wanted to name her brother George but that wasn't happening. This dog has a George shaped head and eyes. He is, though a big black spot wherever he is so I am/was tempted to call him Rorschach.

So doctor's appointment, potty training a person and a dog, keeping three-year old's toys safe from dog's chewing mouth, and putting away all the stuff of the weekend. Definitely a manic Monday.

Lord, let me see You, in the faces of those you have placed in my life and the suroundings you've placed me in. Let me dwell in Your presence and be ever looking for the gifts you have placed in every day.